urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill told me you were not the one jacks 2006-01-14T05:21:42Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:63484 2006-01-14T05:21:42Z 2006-01-14T05:21:42Z <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=myspace_deaths"><br />MYSPACE DEATHS</a><br />the most depressing community ever. argh. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:63138 2006-01-14T05:18:57Z 2006-01-14T05:18:57Z im so glad i don't have class tommorow. mon-fri, seven hours everysingleday.<br />and then work for 5, so this is why i look very repulsive lately<br />i brought this upon myself though, duh<br />there are 10 people in my class and i'm the only white girl and <br />it's kind of funny because my class thinks i'm SO STRANGE. <br />because i put milk in my tea! that's like, insane. and like say weird things. ex:<br />"You can tell she's stressed, her jaws are so rigid and clenched." or:<br />"I feel the head nurse looks down on us and thinks we are inferior."<br />but i mean, is that a basis for me to be told "jackie you're so CRAZY!"<br />and that i look like i was a bad child that disobeyed her parents.<br /><br />the old people are cute though. <br />idk i just better pass the clinical skills<br />eeek<br />i got scrubs though! they're way too big<br />but whatever, i'm a freakin doctor now, what?<br />thanks to walmart, my second home. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:62927 2005-12-09T21:55:02Z 2005-12-09T21:55:02Z UGH my dad is trying to make me vacumn (sp?)<br />i called in to work today& am pretty happy<br />i ate alot, cereal 3 waffles eggnog ice cream<br />__ can't wait until christmas, i want to decorate<br />and i really should go to the dermatologist<br />because i keep squishing pimples& theres like<br />way too much pus on my bathroom mirror<br />:) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:62692 2005-12-09T00:09:19Z 2005-12-09T00:09:19Z i never update this<br /><br />timeline:<br />1 hour ago: CREEPY/PSYCHO message, probably of a murder.<br />5 seconds ago: best buy called for an interview<br />present: watching the golden girls with mom& sister<br />15 mins: getting coffee with dan b.<br />43 days: school starts& my last day at lowes. <br />2 months: first day at new haven health center<br />8 months: oneonta& my own house :)<br /><br />so basically my life is going to suck until august<br />:/ urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:62420 2005-11-17T09:29:38Z 2005-11-17T09:29:38Z i found out today i'm passive agressive<br />and verbally abusive<br />from mrs. emery<br />but it's okay because i decided i like her.<br />and i typed other people too.<br /><br />non assertive: <br />avoidance - ignore conflict (my dad)<br />accomodation - to give in, put peoples needs in front of your own (Janine)<br />why?<br />-they don't know how to express what they want<br />-lack of confidence, dislike discomfort<br /><br />agression:<br />direct - lack of respect for others, physical (my brother)<br />passive - expressing hostility in a manipulative way (me)<br />why?<br />-feelings of anger and resentment that are unable to be directly expressed, <br />sending agressive messages in subtle, indirect ways, but maintaining a facade of kindness.<br /><br />indirect: - honest, makes subtle hints and hopes people "get it" (dan from sears)<br />why?<br />-?? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:62155 2005-11-16T04:29:17Z 2005-11-16T04:31:58Z i'm eating fake salami and 2 red swedish fish<br />i really don't like swedish fish to be honest<br />people that love them are very weird.<br />oh and 17 new voicemails. i need to get rid of my phone<br />or maybe just of my phobia.<br /><br />oh and we're doing this group project in my GD class and i'm being <br />all third grade and decorating a huge science fair-esque posterboard<br />and cutting it out in the shape of the <a href="http://www.madforarts.org/mfa_assets/contrib_files/1106/babelnorwich300.jpg">tower of babel</a>, hah!<br />obviously it's going to be terrible because i'm very bad with art things<br />but i think my teacher will feel bad and give me a good grade for effort<br />(she's one of those).<br />i'll just make etch-a-sketch stairs prob.<br /><br />but i'm still kind of excited a little though.<br /><br />i really like my new dog alot<br />even though she peed on my bed twice.<br />i think i need a pet sitter because i'm never ever home and <br />i feel TERRIBLE leaving her alone. <br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v177/boobiesboobies/dog.jpg" alt="come watch me!"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:61926 2005-10-20T09:30:14Z 2005-10-20T09:30:14Z <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v177/boobiesboobies/tats/tat.jpg"><br />i feel this might be a good cover-up tattoo?<br />all i know is there must be trees.<br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v177/boobiesboobies/tats/tat2.jpg"><br />hah.<br /><br />22 new voicemails, and i'm still refusing to listen to any of them.<br />seriously, scared!<br /><br />in my new icon i'm wearing a spiderweb dress from 9th grade <br />but you can't tell :/ urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:61542 2005-10-12T04:42:40Z 2005-10-12T04:42:40Z so i love dum-dum pops with all my heart& soul<br />basically. <br />hmmm...nothing really new i guess?<br />i'm lucky if i even leave the house!<br />lots of school& lots of work.<br />and ebay, ebay my love.<br /><br />i just got an <a href="http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&amp;category=45214&amp;item=6807015709">amazing</a> square danching belt for $4.<br />night! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:61366 2005-10-06T06:09:29Z 2005-10-06T06:09:29Z today i bought my snow white dress <br />it was in the little girls section of the disney store<br />size 14/16 and seriously, amazing to me, hah<br />i have to return it and get a smaller size though<br />youth medium maybe, idk, it fits a little strangely<br />i think maybe i look like a teapot.<br />there is also a belle costume but i already got the snow white wig and red bow!<br />i'm more of a belle though irl.<br />tommorow i am waking up insanely early to go to the jv mall<br />it's 13 minutes from my nutritionist and i have an apt at 1<br />so that's my excuse.<br />i'm SO SICK of the galleria<br />hello, i'm there every day. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:61036 2005-10-05T10:38:18Z 2005-10-05T10:40:31Z my parents count my medicine every day<br />as if they dont trust me that i take enough<br />or that i take too many<br />"why were there two in the bottle yesterday, and now there are only 1? both me and your father know about it."<br />like, what the fuck?<br />maybe it would be okay if i was 12<br />but i mean, 20<br /><br />i seriously need to move out<br />or go far far away to college<br />wah urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:60793 2005-10-03T04:25:46Z 2005-10-03T04:25:46Z tonight i dyed joey's hair<br />he has so much of it i needed to use 2 bottles<br />i think it came out okay<br />!<br /><br />i'm totally going trick or treating this year<br />i just have no clue what to be yet<br />like, maybe alice or dorothy?<br />or something way easy like...a muffin.<br /><br />NiGhT (remember when it used to be cool to type like that?) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:60438 2005-09-29T09:52:56Z 2005-09-29T09:52:56Z i just bought a <a href="http://static.zoovy.com/img/2bhip/W600-H200-Bf0f0f0/115_muffin_belt_buckle">cupcake</a> belt buckle on ebay.<br /><br />i'm pretty stoked.<br /><br />and also, i feel that any of these 3 would make amazing tattoos and that i will pick one.<br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v177/boobiesboobies/tats/cupcake.jpg"><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v177/boobiesboobies/tats/gallery_clipart1.gif"><br />i've decided i want her hair. <br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v177/boobiesboobies/tats/unicorn20plates.jpg"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:60287 2005-09-12T03:54:46Z 2005-09-12T03:54:46Z people are freakin LAME.<br />11:53 pm:<br />trying to do my english homework/watching american dad/janine<br />i'm seeing a nutritionist next week<br />relieved? my mom is.<br />and dr. jacobs tommorow<br />i find it terribly convenient that my psychiatrist, dentist, and now nutritionist are all located in the same exact small little building in mahopac. it doesn't get much better then that.<br /><br />it's been nice seeing everyone lately. really it has. i didn't realize how much i missed people. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:60150 2005-09-08T07:38:39Z 2005-09-08T07:38:39Z <center><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v177/boobiesboobies/fave.jpg"><br />ever ever.</center> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:59731 2005-09-04T02:10:52Z 2005-09-04T02:10:52Z i haven't had an episode like this is SO LONG<br />and i thought i was making progress and the medications were helping<br />etc etc<br />then what the fuck is going on today?<br />why am i so sad, so...there isn't even a word<br />miserable. lonely. <br />i dyed my hair again, for the 4584 time this week<br />it always turns neon yellow no matter what i do.<br />talk to me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:59423 2005-09-03T04:09:03Z 2005-09-03T04:09:03Z i hate waking up and realizing i slept all day<br />i work tommorow at 9<br />don't let me oversleep pls. <br />this present situation is all that is wrong with today. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:59192 2005-09-02T09:34:13Z 2005-09-02T09:34:13Z hard to sleep<br />i hate working, i hate having to go to school, i hate putting forth effort<br />i wish everything would just come easily to me<br />PLEASE.<br />i'll be done with school in about 98484 months<br />my face is clean, my teeth are not<br />i wish i could just get fake teeth<br />those fake ceramic things that cover them<br />i forget what they're called<br />and goodness<br />people really let themselves go over the summer<br />weight-wise.<br /><br />in my mind and in my car, we can't rewind we've gone to far. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:58904 2005-08-31T05:03:38Z 2005-08-31T07:19:51Z school's okay.<br />...<br />2 hrs later<br /><br />i should go to sleep<br />today i missed work because i overslept<br />then called in and acted very dramatic.<br />i switched short stories with developmental psych<br />the book is <b>106</b> though. ouch.<br />i'm switching my major to "mental health"<br />dcc doesn't have a very wide variety of majors, hah<br />i'm worried my credits won't transfer to a non - suny school<br />because quite honestly, after this there will be no more suny[s] for me<br />ever.<br /><br />i'm currently trying to come to terms with my new hair color<br />even if it does make my face look pink.<br />i wish i knew someone that could highlight/dye hair really well<br />[not that you don't do it amazingly well janine but we both know that we tend to dye our hair random colors and spend more time fixing what we've messed up then really creating anything beautiful].<br />nighty. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:58719 2005-08-26T08:38:07Z 2005-08-26T08:43:39Z JANINE IS HOME!!!!!<br />now i can go to sleep.<br /><br />update:<br /><br />okay i can't sleep because i am currently talking to janine via aim and more awake then ever. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:58493 2005-08-24T09:19:02Z 2005-08-24T09:19:28Z k<br />(if i was a sim teenager i'd be an overachiever)<br />with an aspiration of knowledge just to let you know. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:58261 2005-08-20T15:55:59Z 2005-08-20T15:55:59Z i'm pretty excited about school<br />6 classes<br />pop culture, short story, group dynamics, american his. math 109, and career exploration/planning<br />my first week of school i'm working 46 hours<br />they seriously scheduled it so i go to work a half an hour everysingleday right after school<br />except thursday. because no one really works 7 days a week unless they really need to.<br />i honestly don't mind alot though because i like money more then most anything<br />ANYTHING.<br />so i keep losing weight<br />it's nothing serious or anything yet<br />i'm still 6 pounds from being underweight for my height<br />but it's definately because of the adderall though<br />which i cant/wont go off of.<br /><br />so tired<br />i'm going to redo my room and make it amazing urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:58062 2005-08-16T15:07:01Z 2005-08-16T15:07:01Z so i've been at my grandparents for a little over a week now<br />it's been okay<br />kind of restrictive though, i can't come home at 3 am<br />i might go home today<br />i just hope they're not upset.<br /><br />idk i might redecorate my room completely<br />those long hours in lawn and garden reading decorating magazines<br />sitting by the fans for lack of anything else to do<br />have kind of inspired me.<br /><br />today what to do what to do?<br />i work at 7 tommorow so no very late night :(<br />maybe buy my books for school<br />okay so i want to sit around and play the sims<br />allll day long.<br />i might buy joey's computer from him<br />he's getting a new one<br />but the old one still is amazing<br />with it's $250 graphics card<br /><br />i'm eating you<br />i'm overfed<br />your milk's in my mouth<br />it makes me sick urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:57692 2005-08-15T19:04:56Z 2005-08-15T19:04:56Z i told you from the start just how this would end<br />when i get what i want<br />then i never want it again. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:57394 2005-08-09T23:29:05Z 2005-08-09T23:49:12Z boobs stop shrinking pls.<br />i was a c a few weeks ago and now i'm barely a b.<br />is this normal?<br />i cleaned my bathroom today really well<br />[my achievement for the week]<br />cause this is what i do on my day off.<br />and yes, the sims, the sims 2.<br />amazing.<br />now i'm not getting along with either of my parents<br />doesn't it suck to get threatened to be kicked out?<br />is that the best they can do?<br />i hate it though<br />the fact that i'm 20 and can't afford to live on my own.<br />20 seemed so old when i was like, 14.<br /><br />i create make believe conflicts<br />then make them real. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bloodstabkill:57252 2005-07-26T01:23:40Z 2005-07-26T01:23:40Z so work is okay i guess<br />i just hate being "new" you know?<br />i probably should be nicer to everyone if i want any friends whatsoever, hah<br />it's the easiest job in the world though<br />i get like 38734 comments about my tattoo a day<br />mostly positive, surprisingly.<br /><br />i still love the sims<br />it's changing my life<br />i got a new hoodie today<br />well 2, white and pink<br />pullover are better<br />zipup gets bumpy<br />i wish the screen on my phone worked<br />the dollar store has good wallets.